Strange Angus And His Flying Udder

The nerdy Samuel A. Praxxon does not seem too confident about the situation. "N-no, please don't leave, oh Great Miasma! I have so much to learn about the ways of supervillainy..."

"I'm sorry, lad, but I must go! I'm late for my next appointment."  POOF!!  The mysterious conjurer disappears in a puff of acrid smoke.

"COUGH COUGH COUGH!!   Well, that's gonna take some getting used to. Okay, now to find one of those pesky do-gooders."  

Samuel walks through the crowded streets, intent on proving himself as a new evildoer. "I do feel different, that's for sure. Some odd tingles here and there, and my awareness is a bit expanded now... Oh, Holy Cow! What on earth is going on now?  AAARRRGGGHHH!!!"

The fat little fellow convulses, falls to the pavement, and contorts into a very odd position. The onlookers are taken aback by this strange spectacle, and move out of the way in fear and embarrassment. "Yuck! What's goin' on with that dude? Must be on the drugs, ya know..."

Suddenly, an exceedingly beautiful and impeccably-dressed African-American woman makes her way through the crowd. "No, this man needs help! Let me through and I can... UUUHHH!!!"

Samuel has instinctively thrown out his hand and pointed it at the gorgeous girl. A stream of eldritch energy streams out and strikes her down.  He gets up, and realizes that he has transformed into -- something?  "Hmmm... Feel really powerful right now! This is great! Hey fellas, what exactly do I look like? Don't see a mirror anywhere..."

One of the guys in the crowd stammer out, "Y-you look... uuuhhh... kind of like... a cow, I guess."

"Really? Okay, I'll take your word for it.  C'mon, panther lady, get up. We needs ta fight!"

"Oh, good grief. Fine, I'll do it.  KAANGA!"

With Monica's invocation of the Panther God, she is transformed into the extremely-scantily-clad superheroine Panther Girl. The males in the crowd whoop in masculine appreciation, except for one guy in the back, who promptly faints from fright and astonishment.  WHUMP!

Panther Girl is just momentarily distracted by the fainting nerd, but that is all the opening that 

Sam needs. He shrinks down, gets aloft, and fires a potent blast.  ZAP!!

"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!"  Panther Girl is struck.

"I gotta keep this up, can't let her recover. Here we go! C'mon, gorgeous, it is time for you to get defeated. HA!"

ZAP!  ZAP!  ZAP!   ZAP!  ZAP!  ZAP!   ZAP!  ZAP!  ZAP!   ZAP!  ZAP!  ZAP!   ZAP!  ZAP!  ZAP!

Monica takes a heapin' helpin' of punishment, and begins to shut down.  "Uuuuuhhhhh... I c-can't believe this... gotta clear m-my head..."

ZAP!  ZAP!  ZAP!   ZAP!  ZAP!  ZAP!   ZAP!  ZAP!  ZAP!

Panther Girl's tiny body-thong has been shattered, and she is beginning to lose consciousness.

"Hey, what the Holy Heck is that thing?"

A new entity has coalesced from out of the ether. "That looks like... A Flying Udder!  HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"  The crowd is hysterical now.

"Hey, ya sorry buncha losers better stop makin' fun of my new companion... Oh, Hardy-Har! Yup, even I gotta admit, it looks pretty dang'd funny... HA HA HA! Zap her now, Teats! Yeah, that's what I'ma gonna call ya!"

ZAP!!   ZATTT!!  KAPOW!!

Panther Girl is surrounded by a excruciating field of coruscating debilitating energy, and then blasted in the head.

"OOOHHH!!!"  Monica's last vestiges of consciousness disappear. She now floats helplessly within the energy field.

"Okay, what am I gonna call myself? I looks like a cow... my middle name is Angus... Hmmm... yeah, 'Strange Angus and Teats the Flying Udder'! That's the ticket! Cowabungah! What fun I'ma gonna have, now that I'm a supervillain. Hoop-Dah!"

Panther Girl continues to float helplessly as Strange Angus celebrates his grand debut...